Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
