5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
