:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize