Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
