I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
