If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
