I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
