Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
tell me about the fingering
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