I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize