Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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