Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
