i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
