so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
