lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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