you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
