Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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