Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
my liver is dry heaving
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
