My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
babies were throwing up all over the place
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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