It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
