where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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