its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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