I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
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his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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