Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I hate all girls vehemently.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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