you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
