I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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