He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
