All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
