I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
