I wish I only lived at night.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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