my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize