So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
