OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
