I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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