I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize