He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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