I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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