woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
