Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
is wine microwaveable?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
