Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
