Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
