Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize