pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
