I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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