Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
