Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
