I never want to see another naked old woman again.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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