you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
