do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
