Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
