im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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