***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
