I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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