I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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