I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
In America we eat man semen.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
