I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
