Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
whose parrot is this?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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