u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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