I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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