So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
