The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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